My fears and phobias

Hai!

So as a human, I'm rather pathetic when it comes to being scared of certain things. Most people have one or two fears, whereas I have a whole stack of them! Yes. I am pathetic, I'm aware, but I can't exactly help it? I've tried to get over a few of my fears but failed so I guess I just have to accept them and get on with my very boring life!

1. Rollercoasters.

I hate theme parks. I hate rides. I feel like throwing my guts and I always end up in tears. Defo a no go. Yes, I'm a party pooper!

2. Swimming

I cannot swim for the life of me. I hate water and I am afraid of drowning. I tried to tackle my phobia by having proper swimming lessons when I was in Primary school. As well as having my weekly visit to the swimming baths with my school, my mam paid for the lessons. I hated them. She had to drag me to them, I despised them. Also the teacher was a bit of a stroppy mare and got frustrated when I couldn't do something as simple as dunking my head under the water. And to this day, I cannot swim. I've been to water parks and hated my life. And also getting older and more body conscious also mean more hatred towards the popular hobby.

3. Death

No going to lie, death scares the poop out of me. The thought of not know what happens after, if anything just makes me feel sick. Must admit, the element of surprise does not appeal to me. Also leaving loved ones behind, upset (Yeah, you should be upset!) doesn't exactly make it easier. Then again, when I die I won't really have much say on the matter.



 4. Clowns

I effing hate these things. If I see someone dressed as a clown I totally freak out, I go into melt down. I think watching the film IT as a kid and the fact that my mam decorated my room with clowns, you know kids think things talk to them? I thought the clowns used to threaten to kill me and my mam had to come in and tell the wallpaper to leave me alone. Comical I know. Kinda says why I hate them. And the fact that it's an unfamiliar face puts me off. Not knowing what the person actually looks like freaks me out, weirdly. 

5. Needles

Me and needles do not mix. I am a wuss when it comes to pain and even though it's a tiny needle, that sort of pain makes me poo myself. Yeah, I have piercings, but I chickened out at the end and was kinda forced. 

6. Public speaking

So I'm a shy person, painfully around people I've never met/don't know well. I tend to have a big gob around my little group of friends and most of my family. However, I'm only really loud with my immediate family, the rest of the family, I'm very shy with. So the thought of speaking to a large group of people is something I cannot cope with. The thought that everyone is judging, everyone is thinking something, after all, everyone has an opinion! And the fact that I muddle up my words, sweat like mad, hold back the tears and lose my breath makes it a very traumatic and stressful experience.

So those are my fears. I am aware I'm pathetic but at the end of the day, I'm only human!

Toodles!

Sometimes I just need to keep my trap shut

Howdy!

So it's lovely and sunny here in Durham! However, I'm stuck in the house, in my cosy leopard print jarmies, feeling ill and sorry for myself. But hey ho!

This made me giggle

Basically I want to talk about my opinions, not on anything in particular, just about them in general. Right, so I am a VERY opinionated person. I have an opinion on everything and tend to only listen to mine, wrong? I know. Basically, I can't grasp the concept of you know, the whole time and place thing, which often gets me into bother. Sometimes my views and opinions can be some what, out there and offensive...But half the time I just blurt out what I think at the moment in time when certain subjects are being discussed and I don't think before I speak, which is something I really, really need to control. So for example, on Facebook a while ago made a statement which was "Chavs should stop breeding" Not the best thing to say if I'm at all honest. I didn't mean it as in Chavs should stop having kids all together, I mean everyone has the right to have children. What my statement was really about was the fact that "Chavs" seem to have children and who pays for it? Tax payers meaning my parents, meaning less money for them and making life harder. But yeah, I caused a bit of a stir with my statement all because I didn't think before I wrote. And when I actually thought about it, my anger was actually towards the government.

 I sometimes come across as a bit of a cow because I don't think about things before I voice them and end up wording them wrongly. I've a very accepting person, I believe in diversity and equality and my views sometimes don't show that, basically due to the reason that I don't think things through before I speak! So the moral of the story is, think before you speak!

Toodles!

I don't want to die as the girl who was boring and achieved nothing

Hai!

So I woke up this morning in a bit of a mood. I don't even know why I suddenly started thinking about this or whatever, maybe I had a dream about it. Hmmm... Anyway, I am petrified of dying. Not only that, but dying and not achieving a thing scares me even more. I know I'm only 17, I still have a lot of time ahead of me... Well I hope! *touches wood* But the thing is, I know it's wrong to compare yourself to other people, but most friends/acquaintances have atleast achieved something. And then there's me, I have achieved nothing. GREAT. I'm just...Boring. I haven't really got any hobbies, I've never won anything, I've never really done anything unqiue or worthwhile and I can honestly see my life being boring, and having nothing to show for it. I'm scared that I will be remembered as the girl who never achieved anything, who lived a boring life. Sure I like having a boring life with my pokemons, little group of friends and imediate family, I wouldn't change that for the world, but I want to do something, something that people would be proud of. I really need to get a hobby. I may invest in some form of instrument or maybe start dancing. I'm not sure, but I need something. Art no longer appeals to me like it used to, and let's face it, I'm not the best at beauty but I will continue to work at it, especially things like my nail art.  So hopefully I shall find something that I can put my time into!

Toodles!

Things that grind my gears

There are many things that grind my gears, but here are just a few. Yes, I winge and complain a lot. Get used to it!

1. Taylor Swift's music:

I'm sorry but I just cannot stand this woman. Don't get me wrong, I love my cheesy music! I have Aqua Greatest hits on my iPod, as well as Steps and SClub7. But Taylor Swift? Hell no, she's beyond cheesy. So cheesy that whenever I hear the song Love Story, I cringe and have to turn it off. Sorry to all you Swifters out there.

2. The countless "I'm getting pure wrecked the night yessaiii" status' on Facebook:

Every damn Friday&Saturday my news feed is filled with status' from mainly people under the age of 16 telling the world that they're going to get smashed, and I say world because they literally accept anyone. As a none drinker (I sound about 70) it makes me feel sick. Come on you're 13! You should be having girly sleepover, going out shopping with your friends, not going out in next to nothing getting off your face! If only your parent's could see! Oh wait, they can and fail to say anything, in fact they encourage it! They make me sick! 

3. Teenage pregnancy:

I'm aware that you can fall pregnant when using contraception, but should a 13 year old really be having sex? I think not. The other thing that grinds my gears is the ones who deliberately get up the duff because they think babies are cute. Eurgh, you have no way of supporting them and you don't intend to change that. You rely on the government and tax payers money! And then when you've had the kid and get bored looking after it, you then have the cheek to complain about your none existent social life! Should have thought about that before allowing someone to put their winky in your kitchen sinky! Then of course, their parent's have the sprog dropped upon them while the young mother goes out and gets smashed. Eww.

4. People who have no manners:

Is it really hard to say please and thank you? I think not.

5. Snow:

I hate the stuff. Not only is it freezing, slippy and minging, the thing that really does my head in is the immature knobs who think it's hilarious to throw snowballs, or at my college ice balls. You're 18, grow the hell up!

6. Mushrooms:

Eating a fungus is about as appetizing as eating my toe nail. I despise mushrooms. They make my life hell. They're in a few of my favorite foods, like Spag Bol. Why do they make my life hell? Well I spend about 15 minutes picking them out, leaving me with a cold, once yummy plate of food. And when they're cut smaller, that pisses me off even more! It doesn't matter how small they're cut, I can still taste them! You're not fooling me! You're making my life harder! *sad face*

And that blogger, is what grinds my gears! 

Toodles!   

Beauty therapists are brainless? Bitch please!

You know what pisses me off?

The fact that beauty therapists are looked down on. As a training beauty therapist I have been called brainless many times, and it really does my head in. Most people think beauty is an easy career. I honestly don't know why they think this! Yeah, it's not exactly Oxford, but I'd love to see someone who isn't trained attempt to perform a 40 step facial massage. The thing that's always said seems to be "all you do is file nails, how hard can it be" Well, first of all there's a certain way to file, then there's the nail anatomy which you need to know, you need to know all about health and safety, contractions and contraindications. So yeah, it's not as simple as just filing a nail. And it's not just about filing a nail, you need to know all about the anatomy and physiology. There's a lot to it. Most people don't realise how much it entails, and that pees me off. Yeah, it's not a course that's going to make you a total genius, but it's something hands on and fun. People always say to me "why you doing beauty when you could be doing your A levels?" This comes from people who hate going to college, they hate doing their A Levels. Fair enough, they do them, they want a good career. So do I. The difference is, I do something I love, enjoy and something I am passionate about, yet I get criticized. It's not just Beauty Therapy. It's all vocational courses. At my college the people who study A Levels look down on anyone doing a vocational course. They seem to think they're to easy and pointless, yet they've never studied one. My point is that people can't really call beauty therapists stupid when they don't know what it's about and what's involved. You think I just enjoy sitting there filing? I wouldn't be doing it if that's all it was. I have brains, not the best, but I have them. Beauty isn't just about the practical side for me, it's about understanding the body, learning tips and tricks, making the client feel good about themselves! And for me a big reason is to grow in confidence. I am a very shy and quiet person and by doing beauty, I've been able to grow in confidence, open up and improve my people skills. Yes, it's been a very daunting experience, there's been times when I've been a nervous wreck, but it's helped me a lot. Throwing myself in at the deep end, going through all the tears, butterflies and strops is paying off. A year ago I wouldn't even be able to ask someone got directions, not I'm able to hold a conversation with a client. That's a huge achievement for me. So year, beauty therapists? Brainless? Bitch please! 

Toodles!

First posts are always the hardest..

Hai der ^-^

I'm Shannon, most people call me Shan, I'm 17 and from the North East of England (And no, I'm not a tangoed whore like the cast of Geordie Shore) I do however study beauty therapy at a nearby college, but I'm not your typical barbie student! I am probably one of the most boring people alive. I rarely go out, have little to no social skills and I am obsessed with ducks. Some would say I'm not your typical girl, others would say I'm a freak, nerd, weirdo, emo... I've basically heard it all! Truth is, I'm a bit of everything, that's what makes me, me! I enjoy the simple things in life, cuddles, family, friends, smiles and laughter.

Anyway, enough of boring old me! I have made this blog to basically voice my views and opinions and vent my thoughts on my life, and other issues. I don't expect anyone to read this, you want a sort of getaway, somewhere to escape!

So that's moi!

Toodles!<3